That Old Science Fiction Cliche
by Lucy Gough
Summary: Chase tells bad jokes. House acts even stranger than usual. Wilson throws a snow globe at Cameron. The author utilizes one of the most overdone, cliche plotlines ever. Is that a good enough summary? Pairing: HouseWilson, strong friendship. Updated.
1. Chapter 1

Title: That Old Science Fiction Cliché

Author: Lucy Gough

Disclaimer: Do people really get sued if they fail to put disclaimers? Ah well, just in case: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.

Pairings: There are no romantic pairings but there will be strong H/W friendship.

Setting: Right after the Tritter arc

Warning: The whole story hinges on a supernatural happening, so if you don't like supernatural elements in your House fanfiction then you might not care for this story.

This is my first House fanfiction and I welcome any and all constructive criticism.

Chapter 1

"Okay, here's another one." Chase cleared his throat before continuing, "You might be a redneck if you think a medical staff is a doctor's cane. Hahaha!"

There was dead silence in the office. Cameron, hunched over a medical journal in the corner, rolled her eyes but didn't bother looking up. Foreman stared at Chase with a look of something like awe upon his face. "Where are you getting these things at?" he asked. "I don't think I've ever heard such lousy jokes in my life. And each one keeps getting worse!"

"Don't encourage him." Cameron muttered, her eyes on her magazine.

Chase held up the book he was reading from, a small tome entitled, "Laugh Your Socks Off! 500 of the World's Greatest Jokes'. "Got it from the kid with Joubert Syndrome".

"Isn't that the little girl with the crush on you?" Foreman asked, a slight smirk on his face.

Cameron smirked outright. "We know Chase likes them young."

Chase rolled his eyes but didn't deign to reply as he flipped through the book. "Okay, here's another one. What did the tie say to the neck? I think I'll just hang ar-"

"Where on earth is House at?"

All three fellows glanced up hurriedly at this outburst. Cuddy, resplendent in a low cut red silk blouse and tight yellow skirt, stood in the doorway, the usual look of exasperation on her face that seemed to be reserved for all things Houseian. Her voice positively crackled with annoyance as she strode angrily into the room. "I need to talk with him about something important and I need to talk to him NOW."

The three fellows looked uncertainly at one another. Finally Cameron piped up. "We…we don't know where House is either."

Cuddy's eyes narrowed. "Let me guess. He's off doing something completely outrageous and illegal and he threatened all of you on pain of death if you told on him. Well, I'm telling you now that-"

"We really don't know where House is." Foreman interrupted calmly, leaning back in his chair and staring Cuddy straight in the eye. "He came in around noon, played around on his Game Boy a bit, snapped at one of the nurses and made her cry, insulted Chase's new tie-"

"There's nothing wrong with stripey ties" Chase muttered.

"And then he left. And that's the last we've seen of him all day." Foreman finished.

"We've been waiting and waiting for him to get back." Cameron explained. "I've been all over the hospital looking for him, but no luck."

"And we don't have a patient at the moment, so it's not like he's off trying to solve a case." Chase stated. "We really have no idea where he's went off to."

Cuddy was staring at them with a hard, calculating look on her face, but then she suddenly sighed and her expression softened. "Okay, I believe you. Has anyone been to see Wilson? He usually knows whenever House is up to some sort of insanity."

"Of course we went to talk to Dr. Wilson." Cameron said, a slight tinge of peevishness in her voice, mentally wondering just how stupid Cuddy thought they were. "But he wasn't in his office and it was locked. I've checked a few times and he still hasn't returned so I suppose he has important stuff that he-"

"That proves that House is off doing something outrageous!" Cuddy suddenly burst out, her eyes flashing. "Whatever he's doing, he's dragged poor Wilson along! When I get my hands on him I'll-"

Cuddy ranted on a few more minutes, her threats growing ever more creative and complex. Cameron glanced over at Chase, who was looking pale and wide eyed, then looked over at Foreman, who was sitting back with a cool, almost smug look on his face. Cameron felt like shrugging; Cuddy never really did anything to House, no matter how many crazy things he did.

To her surprise Cameron heard herself interrupting Cuddy's tirade. "I think I'll go check on Dr. Wilson again, if that's okay."

Cuddy drew a deep breath. "Yes, that would be a good idea. And I'll go send my assistant to check empty clinic rooms again. God knows what House is getting up to. I just hope the hospital doesn't end up getting sued." Cuddy said in a grim voice.

* * *

Cameron had only said that she would check on Wilson in order to get out of the way of Cuddy's warpath, so it was with surprise when she discovered that his office door was slightly ajar. "Dr. Wilson?" she called out, knocking gently on the door. There was no reply, but she distinctively heard someone moving about in the room. "Dr. Wilson, is that you?" she called out louder, knocking harder. Again, there was no reply. Squaring her shoulders, Cameron edged the door open and entered the room.

Wilson was standing by the window to the balcony, his back to her. He didn't turn around when she entered the office. "Dr. Wilson?" Cameron was surprised by how uncertain her voice sounded. Wilson was hardly the most intimidating person in the world after all, even if he was a department head, and she had spoken with him a million times before. "Dr. Wilson, are you okay?" she whispered, then reached out and gently touched his shoulder.

At that he whipped around violently, grabbing her arm in a tight grip. She stifled a scream and tried to pull away, but he was too strong for her. His eyes were wild and unfocused and it was as if he didn't really see Cameron as she struggled within his grip. "You turn the one decent thing in your life and you taint it, strip it of all meaning!" he hissed through clenched teeth, twisting her arm even harder.

"Wilson, let go, you're hurting me!" Cameron gasped, trying to wrench herself from his grasp. His eyes suddenly focused and he seemed to see her for the first time. "You! What are you doing here?" he snapped in disgust, shoving her away. Cameron fell back against Wilson's desk, crying out as her hip struck the sharp edge. Straightening up, she groped around on his desk until she found a heavy snow globe among the toys that were gifts from his younger cancer patients. She held it above her head in what she hoped was a threatening manner. "Wilson, I don't want to hurt you, but if you come at me I'm going to knock you out with this." Wilson took a step toward her, his eyes still slightly wild, and she held it higher, feeling slightly ridiculous as the snow swooshed merrily around the inside of the globe. "Listen, Dr. Wilson. You're feeling confused. I understand, you've been under a lot of pressure lately." Cameron began in what she hoped was a soothing, controlled tone. It was obvious that Wilson had finally snapped, and not really even all that surprising after all he had went through with both House and Tritter. Foreman and Chase had even had a bet going on over how long it would take before Wilson finally cracked. A bet that Cameron of course had highly disapproved of. Despite herself it entered her head that Foreman was going to be so pissed about Chase winning that bet. "Just calm down, Dr. Wilson while I go get Dr. Cuddy." Cameron said slowly as she backed toward the door, snow globe held aloft.

Wilson suddenly backed off, his hands held up mockingly. "Why do I get the impression that I'm being humored?" he said sarcastically, his voice low and a hard look glinting in his eyes.

"Well, it might have something to do with the fact that you grabbed me and hurt my arm and was babbling nonsense when I came into the room!" Cameron gasped out in a rush, not putting down her makeshift weapon.

A small smirk twisted the corner of Wilson's mouth. "And yet, I don't remember inviting you into my office, Cameron. Do you always go barging into places you're not wanted, nosing around in other people's business?"

"I-I was worried because I knocked and you weren't answering! I wasn't barg-"

"And I was deep in thought. Thinking about…oh, saving the lives of poor bald headed little cancer kids. Heroic and noble things like that. Just standing there minding my own business and you come barging in and hit me on the shoulder and of course it startles me and then you assault me with a snow globe-"

"I didn't!"

"-in my own office. I wonder who Cuddy is going to believe, me or you? Maybe I should call security. An important department head is being threatened by a crazed immunologist." It was said in a mocking way, and yet there was an edge to it, as if he were challenging her. Cameron could only stare. He put out his hand toward the phone. "Well?" he said, an eyebrow raised.

"Fine." Cameron said in a hard voice, slamming the snow globe down on the desk. She stared Wilson straight in the eye as she backed away from the desk toward the door. "I don't know what's going on Dr. Wilson but I really do think you need to at least talk to Dr. Cuddy. There's obviously something wrong and I don't want you hurting yourself or-"

"Oh god!" Wilson groaned. "Can't you just leave without putting on the saintly, caring act? I don't-" Suddenly he stopped, his eyes growing unfocused again. "Why do you want so bad not to be …not to be…" he muttered to himself, clutching at his head as if he were in pain and staggering against the desk. "Why do you want so bad not to be..."

"Wilson?" Cameron questioned, standing uncertainly at the door. He seemed so lost and disorientated and confused, she didn't want to leave him alone. "Wilson, I really do think you need to see Dr. Cuddy. At least talk to her."

He steadied himself on the desk, then turned to glare at her. "Get. Out." he said through clenched teeth, his hands gripping the edge of the desk.

"Wilson, are you experiencing any head trauma? I-"

"GET OUT!" Wilson roared, grabbing the snow globe and flinging it at Cameron's head. Letting out a sharp cry, Cameron flew through the office door and slammed it shut behind her just in time. A crashing, shattering noise reverberated against the closed door as the snow globe hit it, and then there was silence. Cameron stood by the door for a few seconds, numb and trying to get her bearing, and then made her way shakily to House's office.

* * *

At first Cameron thought House's office was deserted. She figured that Cuddy, Chase, and Foreman had gone off on a wild goose chase to try and discover House's elusive whereabouts. She couldn't help but feel a sharp stab of frustration at all of them, especially House. She paced restlessly about the room, trying to clear her thoughts and think of what she could do about Wilson. There was something seriously wrong with him, and even after his threats she knew she had to get in touch with Cuddy about his strange behavior. There could a number of physiological reasons for his actions, although Cameron was still tempted to think that the culprit was psychological, resulting from stress, overwork, and all of the trouble that he had been put through by House. She was musing over the possibility of it being some sort of mental break when her attention was arrested by a soft moaning noise. She glanced over at the far wall and noticed for the first time a figure huddled miserably in the corner.

"House!" Cameron cried out, a wave of relief washing over her as she hurried over to where House was crouched against the wall. The feeling of relief however was replaced by worry when he stared wide eyed at her, a look of pain on his face. "It's…my leg." he managed to gasp out, "I'm having trouble walking on it, the pain is killing me, and I collapsed…"

"Oh my god, House." Cameron crouched down beside him. "I'll go get Foreman and Chase and we'll-"

He suddenly clutched at her arm, "No, don't leave! I need….have you seen….do you know where…" his voice trailed off, a glazed look coming over his eyes.

Cameron was really starting to get worried. "House!" she called out, shaking his shoulder urgently, "House, did you take something? House!"

His eyes suddenly focused on her face. "Cameron, it's you."

"Yes, it's me. House, do you have any idea what could be wrong with you? What kind of drug did you take?"

He shook his head. "Listen, do you know where….Wilson is? Have you seen him?"

"House, this isn't the time to talk about Wilson. You're in terrible pain and you're going in and out on me. I need to know what's wrong with you! Let me take a look at your leg."

He shook his head again, stubbornly. "My leg pain can wait. I need to see if Wilson's okay. Please just check up on him for me and see if he's alright." Noticing her worry and concern, he tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll be okay. I just need to sit here for awhile. Go check on Wilson for me, Cameron. Please do this for me."

Cameron closed her eyes for a second, not quite sure she was hearing things right. "House, did you just say p-"

"Please, Cameron."

"You said it again!"

House nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I said it again? What? Cameron, what are-" suddenly he doubled over in pain, clutching his leg. Cameron moved to stand, but he grabbed her arm again. "It's okay, it's okay." he said, trying to reassure her. "I just never realized the pain was so bad. I never knew…"

"House." Cameron said in a low, hard voice. "You are in pain. Serious pain. Plus you are not making any sense or sounding like yourself at all. Wilson can wait. I'm going to get some help, okay? Just try to hang on." She rose to her feet and was about to move towards the door when a thought struck her and she turned around. "House, why do you want Wilson? What's wrong with him?"

"There's…there's something wrong with him. Bad wrong. I just need to see him. Go find him and see if he's okay and try to get him here if you can…"

"Wilson was exhibiting the same symptoms you have." Cameron mused, "Zoning in and out, erratic behavior, except his was far, far worse."

"You've seen him, then? How is he? Is he okay?" House quarried, his eyes earnest and worried. Feeling strangely repulsed, Cameron couldn't look away from them. A feeling that had been tickling at the back of her mind was now pushing itself forward. A feeling of…she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"House, I know Wilson wouldn't take anything, he's not that stupid. Did you slip him something?"

"Did I slip him something? No, why? What did he do? What do you mean by 'erratic behavior'?" House's voice sounded so worried and so earnest and oh god, that feeling was getting worse and worse. That feeling of…_wrongness_. That's what it was. Wrongness. And it didn't have anything to do with drugs or leg pain or mental breaks or anything like that, but everything to do with the man sitting on the floor staring up at her with such a concerned, worried look upon his face.

"You're not talking right." Cameron heard herself say flatly.

"I'm not talking right?"

"Your voice. Your inflections. Your tone. None of it is right. It's all…wrong."

"It's all wrong." House repeated carefully, staring at her with a strange look on his face.

"Your facial expressions. Your eyes. The things you're saying. It's all wrong…." Cameron's mind whirled, trying to come up with a medical reason for what she was feeling. Actually, there were quite a few medical explanations for someone exhibiting extreme behavior and personality changes. Cameron tried to ignore the feeling of eeriness and concentrate solely on medical facts. Well, it could be a head injury, or the effects of drug use (most likely with House. But then what about Wilson? And what kind of a coincidence was this?) and of course there was-

But Cameron's thoughts were interrupted when House suddenly gave a sharp cry and lost consciousness.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Half of the doctors who specialize in Oncology turn into burnt out cases but you, you eat neediness"

"You had an affair with another woman? I thought you loved me. How could you do this to me, James?"

"As long as your trying to be good, you can do whatever you want"

"Faith is important to me, James. I'm happier when I believe in something bigger than I am"

"I waited hours for you to get home last night! Were you out with another woman again?"

"Son, your mother has been up all night crying her eyes out. I don't think she'll ever accept the fact that your brother has left for good"

"James I don't want you inviting Greg House to dinner again, you know I can't stand that man! You spend all of your time cleaning up his messes and you're never at home anymore. I wish you spent half as much time with me as you do with him!"

"Does it occur to you, that if you need that kind of friend, you may have made some deeper errors?"

Wilson's eyes snapped open. The tumult of voices that had been beating relentlessly against his mind mercifully ceased: his ex-wives' angry accusations, the melancholy sighs of his father, Grace's gentle murmuring words, and of course House's harsh and acerbic tones. He lay still for a few minutes, listening to the ringing echoes of the now quiet voices, his mind still befuddled by the strange and vivid dreams that he had awoken from. Finally, still feeling dazed and lethargic, Wilson decided to get up. It was then that he realized something was wrong. He couldn't get up, in fact he didn't seem able to move at all. When he had first awoken he assumed that he was in his bed at the hotel, but now as his eyes traveled about the room he realized that he was somewhere else. Somewhere strange, and yet not strange…in fact, it was very familiar. Those white, impersonal walls, the small TV hooked up on the wall, that annoying repetitive beeping sound…

He was in the hospital, he realized with a start. He wasn't just at the hospital, he was a _patient _in the hospital. He was lying in a hospital bed attached to an IV and so full of drugs that he could barely move. His mind was cloudy and it was difficult for him to think clearly, but he was able to determine that at least he wasn't in ICU. He tried to remember what had happened before he found himself in this room, but his thoughts were too dazed and foggy. The only thing he remembered was that he had been having some _seriously _weird dreams before he woke up. There had been a bright flash, a high shrieking sound, a light brightening up House's astonished face, and then…

"So you're up then?"

From the Australian accent Wilson's muddled mind deduced that Chase had entered the room, but his vision had grown bleary and he had trouble making out the features of the figure bending over his bed. Wilson tried to reply but found that he was unable to speak.

"What in the hell did they get up to?" That was Foreman's voice.

"I don't know, but they're both in a bad state." Chase sighed. "House collapsing in his office, and then Wilson wondering the halls acting confused and disoriented, babbling nonsense and chucking snow globes at Cameron. No wonder Cuddy had them both admitted as fast as possible."

"I don't get it, I thought maybe they had taken something, but according to their blood work that's not been the case…"

"Well yeah, I think House's problem is just that his leg is acting up. As for Wilson…you've looked at his medical files and blood work. What do you think about him being on anti-depressants?" Chase's voice sounded strangely triumphant.

"I think the anti-depressants have absolutely nothing to do with his problem now." Foreman said firmly.

"Oh, really? I think they prove that Wilson is going through a lot of emotional problems. It's obvious that Wilson's current condition is psychological. He's completely went off the deep end. And since that's the case it looks like you owe me, oh, about three hundred dollars, wasn't it?"

"Absolutely not." Foreman said coolly. "We don't know if Wilson's problem is caused by psychological factors or not. There could be any number of other factors involved."

"You're just trying to get out of the bet! I-"

"This is disgusting!" a feminine voice piped up. "Both of them are sick, and you're haggling over your sleazy bet!"

"Oh come on, Cameron. House is going to be okay." Chase said, exasperated. "I can't imagine anything getting the best of him."

"The devil looks after his own." Foreman muttered darkly.

"Anyway,," Chase continued, "I think the whole fact that Wilson is on anti-depressants should count for something in the bet." Foreman snorted and Cameron made a sound of disparagement.

"Cameron." Wilson's vision had cleared a bit, and he now found that he could speak. His voice sounded low and weak, and very strange to his ears. "Cameron", he tried again, a bit louder this time. He had to get them to stop speaking about the anti-depressants and his mental state. Many people thought that Wilson was a touchy feely, sensitive guy and he was, but only when it came to helping other people with _their _problems. When it came to his own problems he was reserved and private and he certainly had never wanted anyone at work to know about the anti-depressants. Friendly, responsible, well-adjusted Dr. Wilson wasn't the type of guy to be on anti-depressants. And he certainly wasn't the type of guy to have a mental breakdown. He felt sick listening to them talk about him as though he were crazy. What in the hell had happened that they would think he had cracked up? What had he done?

"Hey, are you okay?" Cameron leaned over, peering at him worriedly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm starting to feel a bit better. Not exactly up to a twenty-mile marathon but maybe I could chance a ten-mile one." Wilson said wryly. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "You said House was sick too. Where's he at? Is his leg giving him trouble?"

Cameron stared silently down at Wilson while Chase and Foreman exchanged looks. Finally Cameron smiled weakly. "I'm glad you're feeling better." she said in a rather strained voice. "You should try and get some rest now. We'll leave you alone and check up on you later."

"But House…" Wilson said weakly, then found himself starting to slip back into unconsciousness again. He tried to fight it, but finally the darkness took him under.

* * *

A nurse was checking Wilson's IV drip when he awoke. She had curly red hair and light blue eyes and he recognized her right away; Jessica Lane, an extremely capable nurse that he had chatted with quite a few times in the past. He had even taken her to lunch a couple of times after the death of her brother in order to cheer her up. He tried to smile up at her but she only gazed down frostily at him. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" Jessica asked in a cold voice.

"Er, no. I'm fine." Wilson said, confused. She was usually so cheerful and friendly around him…and a bit of a flirt, to be honest. But now it was as if she had turned into an ice queen.

"That's good. I'm glad you're feeling better." Jessica said, sounding as if she felt the complete opposite.

"Has any of the doctors been in to see me while I was asleep?" Wilson asked.

"Dr. Cameron came in a few times. Why, do you need to see a doctor about something?" Jessica asked in what was a decidedly snappish tone.

"Well, I was hoping to ask them…"

"Because you told me that you're feeling fine and you don't need anything, but now you're saying you want to see a doctor. Why? Do you not trust nurses?"

"No! It's not that. I'm just…" Wilson was too tired to deal with all of this. And it wasn't making it any better that Jessica was staring down at him with a look of pure hatred upon her face.

"I'm sorry I'm just a lowly nurse and therefore not good enough to deal with whatever problem you're having. I'll go get one of the doctors since I'm obviously not capable enough for you."

Wilson stared dumbfounded as she stalked out the door. "God, can you believe that man! He acted as if I wasn't good enough to shine his shoes!" he heard her declare out in the hall to the other nurses, not even bothering to keep her voice down. "How can you stand to be around him? I would be tempted to slip him some arsenic!" one of the other nurses said to the sound of laughter.

Wilson stared up at the ceiling, crestfallen and depressed. He had always been under the impression that he was popular with the nursing staff. Mercifully he could feel himself slip under again and soon he was blissfully unaware of his surroundings.

* * *

When Wilson awoke again, it was the to the noise of what sounded like a minor skirmish out in the hallway. "You're supposed to be in bed!" he distinctively heard one of the nurses exclaim. "Dr. Cuddy said you had to rest!" another nurse cried out. "I'm feeling completely fine now and I want to check up on my friend. Get out of my way!" someone else growled out, and then there was the sound of shoving. _House. _Wilson thought in relief. It was House, and he was up and about and causing trouble. He was okay. Then he heard the voice rise again, and suddenly a cold chill crawled over his spine. Instinctively, deep down in his bones, he knew it was House, and yet the voice really wasn't House's. That voice…there was something about that voice….

And then a figure came barreling into the room. Wilson's vision was still a bit blurred and at first he couldn't make out who it was. The figure stood silently for a few minutes, then began to walk towards the bed. As he grew closer, Wilson could tell that it was a man in his early forties. A dark haired man in his early forties. A dark haired, brown eyed man in his early forties who…

And Wilson suddenly realized that Chase may have been right about that mental break. For standing in front of him was…himself. And then with a gasp all of the memories came flooding back. Memories of what he and House had done, of what had happened to them, of the huge, terrible, surreal mess they were now in. For the first time since waking up in the hospital room he was aware of his body…or, to be precise, the body he was now currently inhabiting. His vision was still a bit blurred, and his senses muddled, but he could now tell that this body, this long, lanky body, felt alien and strange to him, and definitely wasn't his own. He tried to say something, but found that he couldn't speak, he could only stare up in horror at his own face bending down over him.

"Hello, Dr. House." it said, "Looks like we're in a bit of a mess, aren't we?"

* * *

Hey, thanks for the reviews so far! In the quotes at the top of the page the first, third, and eighth quote are House's from the show, the 4th quote is based on what Wilson said Grace told him in the House vs. God episode, the seventh quote is based on the episode Histories where we learn about Wilson's missing brother, and the rest of the quotes are just things that I imagine he'd probably heard from his ex-wives. Just wanted to explain that in case somebody hadn't seen all of the episodes. 


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